“COMPE NI COMPE ROHO SAFI ” POLITICIAN SHARES HOW HE WON HIS INAUGURAL ELECTION CAMPAIGN

My name is Joseph. I had been working as a civil servant for years with the ministry of Foreign Affairs. Still, I had a dream of one day becoming the Area MP in my home county. Charity begins at home after all. Cries for the need for change had gone unheard way too long. It is well documented that politics require poli-tricks. It’s an immensely dirty game of numbers and tactics. You ought to have the mentality of a duck diving head first in stinking sewage in search of food to succeed.

” Failing to plan is planning to fail. Nothing succeeds like success and nothing fails more than failure!!! Remember that Joseph. If you are going to run, then you have to improve your chances of success. You are up against the incumbent MP, who is clearly prepared to do whatever it takes.” my friend Alex advised. He was right. Honorable Odette was a no-nonsense guy. If he has to burn the world twice to get what he wants, then he will. Several had tried before, only to either drop out or lose the election. Their claims of intimidation were dismissed as quickly as those of a child on a full stomach crying for attention in the middle of winter.

” Asiyekubali kushindwa si mshindani. My popularity as the MP of this county grows stronger day by day. I would like to appreciate my competitors though. For it is worth noting that for one to be first, someone else has to come second. Winning requires a loser just as taking requires a giver. Best of luck next time” he would be heard bragging. The question lingering at the back of my head was the same. How do I beat this guy?? What do I do different that those who tried to unseat him haven’t already done?? Is there a winning formula when it comes to politics??

Luckily, a school mate of mine who was also vying to defend his seat as the reigning MCA confessed to have included the services of a herbalist in the previous election that he won by a landslide. He gave me his contacts, I booked an appointment. He cast powerful spells, prescribed herbs and gave me a magic ring to wear. I came back confident for the ensuing campaign trail.
” I know you cheated Honorable Joseph. Nobody has come even close in the past three elections. Enjoy your term but don’t expect it to be this easy next time Odette lamented as he drove off cursing after losing.

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