My name is Oscar Obiri, a traffic officer with the Kenya Police Service in Nairobi. It is true that bribery is rampant within the police force and I can attest that I too practice the vice. Along Thika road is my usual posting, with the occasional call up to join forces around Muthaiga. A lady called Miriam Makau sent shivers down my spine recently when the impossible happened. I stopped her on her way to Kahawa and as usual, expected her to wither to my pressure and give me a bribe of at least Kshs. 30,000. I must admit, there wasn’t much that was wrong with her car. She had all the documents, drove carefully and within the required speed limit. But, I wanted money and was determined to use everything at my disposal to make it look like she had broken every rule in the Traffic department.
She insisted that she didn’t have cash. I gave her a till number I registered with the ID of a deceased person so that nothing traces back to me. She left, angry and spitting fire, for she knew she had done nothing wrong. Less than an hour later, my head started to spin, my guts twisting and turning in all kinds of awful movements. Soon, I collapsed on the floor, my nose bleeding and showing symptoms of losing my mind. I called a colleague, who showed up minutes later. He found me writhing in pain. My vision was blurred; I couldn’t tell if it was daylight or night. In a labored voice, I explained to him what had just happened.
He called the lady and asked her to return, that I would refund her money in full. She declined. Sensing danger, my colleague asked me to send her all the money and some extra. I gave him my phone, for by then, I couldn’t see. Worse, she called moments after receiving her money to ask for more, before helping me get back to my senses. We had no choice but to send her an extra Kshs. 20,000 on top of the 35k we sent her. As if that was not enough, my troubles were not over, as Dr. Mugwenu, the traditional herbalist she contacted after I forcefully took the bribe from her, asked for a fine of Kshs. 50,000 to reverse the powerful spells he had used. It was one of the longest days of my life.
I didn’t know it was possible to make someone return your money, but that day, I learnt that people like Dr. Mugwenu can easily make anyone return stolen items, be it a wrong M-Pesa transaction, stolen cows, phones or even online scammers. I made my friend swear not to tell the other officers at the precinct, fearing that they would laugh at me. Unfortunately, I still do take bribes, but only pick my targets carefully to avoid further embarrassment.
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